Don’t be so controlling!

Do you get upset when you cannot control others? Or moody and irritated when people don’t do what you want? Do you react when your mistakes are pointed out? Or try to force people to comply with your demands? Do you exaggerate your pain, sickness, or need in order to gain attention or sympathy? Or criticise the opinions and choices of others and position yourself as superior? Do you become angry and abusive when someone disagrees with you or challenges your authority? Are you reluctant to compliment others but quick to try and fix something you think is wrong with them? Do you find it hard to say, ‘I need you’? Do you try to drive a wedge between your loved ones and anyone else who gets close to them? Do you ‘give orders’ to those you interact with, rather than using the simple courtesies of ‘please’ and ‘thank you’?

If your answer to any of these questions is yes, then the word for today is—don’t be so controlling! The Bible says, ‘Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honour giving preference to one another.’ (Romans 12:10 NKJV) That means stopping to consider how your behaviour affects other people. You say, ‘But I just happen to have a strong personality.’ Sorry, that doesn’t let you off the hook! ‘A servant of the Lord must… not quarrel but be gentle to all.’ (2 Timothy 2:24 NKJV)

So, if you’re a controller, start changing your ways! And if you’re being controlled because you fear anger and rejection, it’s time to draw a line in the sand. Seek help from a trusted friend or church leader, especially if you feel at risk. Ask God to help you stand firm and refuse to be controlled any longer.