‘Husbands… live with your wives… in an understanding way.’ 1 Peter 3:7 CSB

To have a successful marriage, you must understand that your mate is not only physically different from you but mentally and emotionally different too. Let’s say a problem arises at breakfast. After work, he has forgotten it; he compartmentalised it to focus on work. For him, it’s over, but not necessarily for her. She may have rehearsed and processed it while multitasking during the day. It hasn’t disappeared; it’s unfinished business. After work, he comes home, and there is tension. He thinks, ‘What’s the problem?’ She thinks, ‘How could he possibly forget?’ He is thinking, ‘Surely she’s not still thinking about that incident from this morning?’ This is a good moment to introduce the Bible verse, ‘Live… in an understanding way.’ Understanding brings happiness.

A man’s brain functions in a compartmentalised way. He moves from family, to work, to recreation, with each compartment separate from the other. But in a woman’s brain the compartments are connected. While he is working, she is thinking about the kids, the argument at breakfast, and planning dinner—all at the same time. So, this morning’s incident is still in her mind. By understanding these differences, she can give him time to get back into the ‘family compartment’ before raising the issue. And he can realise she is not being unreasonable; she just needs closure so she can feel good about the relationship again.

In marriage, some things must be resolved while other things must be processed, forgiven, and forgotten. And if your goal is to live in harmony, you must understand this principle.

SoulFood: 2 Chr 16–18, Mark 6:1–13, Ps 119:65–72, Pro 21:10–13

The Word for Today is authored by Bob and Debby Gass and published under licence from UCB International Copyright ©